It’s been noticeable that it has been quite some time that I’ve last written or posted anything; this is for good reason. Something’s been on going in my life relating to the post I wrote back in June about work and depression. I haven’t been able to really write anything because everything was so up in the air as I’ve tried to figure out how to change the situation I have been living in. Now I can finally write because even though I still don’t know for sure what I’m going to do at least I just know for a fact it’s nowhere but forward from here:
After months of dealing with my employer and a toxic, unorganized work environment, I decided after failed attempts of trying to transfer out of my department, I resigned from my job and put in my two weeks. At the time of my resignation, I had one interview in the town where I live done but nothing else lined up. During my final two weeks, I had another interview at somewhere 20 miles away but came in 2nd as another candidate got the job over me. So here I am, officially unemployed with nothing officially in place. Yes I am a little scared and worried but I know I’m capable of finding something.
It was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make and when I explain to those who know me the best, they’ve seen what I’ve been going through over the past year and understand as they’ve seen my ups, downs and frustrations as my mental health deteriorated. I was originally going to make this decision in June but I just kept pushing through no matter how miserable I was because I knew as an adult I couldn’t just leave a full time job with benefits without having something else lined up. I planned to keep going but after one day when I had to deal with a lose lose situation my superior tried to put me in, I then decided enough was enough and I took this as my opportunity to leave on my terms. I couldn’t write and complain about my employer and still don’t want to do it even after I left but now at least I can write about how I plan on making a come back some how.
This week I’ve been taking care of my mental health by going to the Y every day, while I still have a Y membership that is, and start to write again as well as put my feelers out for jobs. I’m a part of the North Iowa Bloggers and I hope I can at least do something with my writing. At this time even focusin on writing is such a challenge. What makes me unique? I’m just another white girl who likes to travel but I don’t want to be another Samantha Brown, she sucks. At least I have my own personality and feel that women who host travel shows deserve to do what male travel show hosts do. I hope I can find a way to make my voice be heard for how different I am from all that want to do what I do for a living.
Right now I don’t know what I am going to do, all I know is I have to take one day at a time. I have hope and determination I will find something and have a job again no matter what I end up doing.