Been Away Too Long..

Why does it always feel I have way too much time or no time at all? Or when you work to make money to live and enjoy yourself but you end up working so much that you don’t have time to live, have fun or enjoy yourself? That or you have the time to have fun and you are broke af.

Besides my primary 40 hours a week job I do between the hours of 8 AM and 5 PM Monday-Thursday, 10 AM-3 PM on Friday, I have:

A part time bartending job Thursday and Friday nights which originally just started with Thursdays but I have acquired another night due to loss of staffing and me just want to save more money at a faster rate even though it pushes my overall work week from 40 hours up to 53 hours at times. (I have goals, seriously, I’m not crazy in trying to fill all my free time.)

I’ve started taking classes toward my Master’s degree (only one course at a time thankfully)

I’ve been involved in a theater production earlier this year but who know if that will continue with the extra job and graduate classes next season. Perhaps this will have to wait until I’m done working a second job.

This blog I have been trying to update weekly or bi weekly, what was started in February I failed epically July and now August.

There’s a Young Professionals group I used to be able to go to once a month but with extra job I’ve had to step back from that unless they switch up a meeting to a Wednesday night instead of a Thursday night.

I have a Y membership through work I try and use as much as I can during the week.

I’ve started reading a good book

I’m barely started on a costume I would like to wear to the Renaissance Festival.

Even when I’m at home where I should be relaxing I have multiple work roles: I’m a housekeeper, a cook, a groundskeeper, a plumber (Tyler and I both have long hair so yeah I deal with that that creates), I can only imagine how much more I’d have to do if we had kids or even pets. So it could be worse but I have quite a few roles already personally and professionally.

With Tyler working on second shift, 3-11 PM M-F, we don’t get much time together throughout the week. This has us cramming a week of spousing into Saturdays and Sundays. However sometimes I may want to do things with friends on a Saturday or Sunday and other times he may want to do things away from me with his friends on the weekends. I know sometimes this happens but since our weeks are apart I feel a little guilty when I do things not with him. I know it isn’t a big deal and sometimes schedules don’t always go according to plan. It’s something I’ve had to learn to deal with work with until he can move to 1st shift, whenever that may be. We might be waiting 10 years.

Those weekends we get to spend entirely together may have small setback. Two months ago I wrote about the annual summer Marble Run we do on the Harley and how I would post all these stops we would be doing at all the awesome hole in the wall places we ride to. Well this year we’ve had rotten luck; all geared up and ready to roll and this is the radar:
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Right in our path! Grr! What worse is Tyler didn’t get to go on his Sturgis vacation so this year all around has been sad for riding. Hopefully he can get a good day and take off from work to get some riding done before the weather turns cold.

Writing this has helped and you’d think while I’ve been busy and stressed I would do it more. I got into the habit of thinking of it like a job or chore instead of something I enjoy doing. With lack of time I don’t have enough of it to give it the quality I want to see. So until I get back in the groove of things I give you this hot mess of a post or my first ‘quickie’. This wasn’t so bad now, was it?

Pilot Entry

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When you have a face that makes people think you want to kill them or that you might kill yourself.

 

“Why aren’t you smiling? Is something wrong?” the many forms of that question which I hear over and over again. It has become increasingly difficult to not say something back in a bitchy undertone. People, well let’s be honest here it’s mostly MEN, can be dicks and ask annoying questions like that but when I strike back I become the dick. Not fair.
Yes the life with Resting Bitch Face is not a new thing but finally with the help of Social Media it has now reached mainstream attention. Hopefully over time this will reach the target age group I would like to see so I can drink my vodka alone in peace.
This entry is about living with Resting Bitch Face but in a way it is also about double standards. Women getting questioned about doing the same things men do that don’t get questioned or even looked at. I didn’t intend for this entry to have that mood but you can’t have one without the other.
My face really started to bother me during my time spent working on the line at Winnebago. (Well that’s wrong to say: people started to bother me. It’s not my face’s fault it looks pissed when I have no feeling or expression, I didn’t choose it and I can’t change it. I’ve been told my face is actually quite nice so dumbasses who question it can suck it.) I have to add I am NOT a morning person especially at 5:45 AM when I reported to clock in. So my tired and very groggy self would have to go searching for parts before 7 AM while walking down the gauntlet that was Line 1. I can’t tell you how many times I would hear “SMILE!” A very exhausted, grumpy me just wanted to scream, “CANT I JUST BE TIRED AND HARD WORKING IN PEACE?? OR HUNGRY?? OR IN NEED OF COFFEE??” Many times, actually 90% of the time my RBF can be summed up by hunger. People who know me know that when I’m hungry I feel that shit in my soul!!
Another incident happened with a complete stranger. One night while in Mason City, waiting for my roller derby wife to finish practice so we could car pool back home, I decided to stop for a drink somewhere. The North Iowa Fairground where she practices are just mostly surrounded by retail and chain restaurants so Applebees it was for one and done before picking her up. I sat down and just ordered something fruity and girly that would go fast. Since I was just by myself I had my phone and football on bar TVs to keep me occupied. While zoning out to Monday Night Football not having anything on my mind but that game, I hear from the man next to me: “Oh come on, smile! It can’t be that bad!” I then replied, “It’s not bad I’m just watching the game, is that ok with you?”. Luckily the young bartender interjected and shared my pain of people telling her the same thing. That night I was so happy to not be ALONE! Do men get told to smile when they are zoning out to football? NO!!!!
I know men from that middle age group and above aren’t trying to be sexist but in many ways they are. If women aren’t smiling or pleasant for them to look at then something must be wrong and this behavior isn’t normal. I’ve always been comfortable going to a bar by myself here in town locally or elsewhere. If it’s not in town it’s because I’m trying to kill time/ waiting for someone and it’s more comfortable, not to mention less awkward, to seat one up at the bar instead of at a table. If I am in my hometown I usually know the bartender or people that frequent the establishment like I do. This is something I’m sure men older than me aren’t used to seeing women do. Being by myself, even as a married women, men think that this is an open invitation and a women by herself MUST ALWAYS HAVE COMPANY! I’ve had one man sit down then straight up tell me his name and that he lived here in 1971, blah blah blah. My reaction: “And you think I care, why?”
I don’t sweat the small stuff when these incidents occur but anyone with my face knows this shit gets annoying. I just hope that many more females in my situation can come together and help make Resting Bitch Face be more of a not so un-normal thing, if that’s an expression. Sometimes I will get snippy about it, other times I have fun with it. One thing I know for sure, I am NOT a piece of furniture to older men who find my murder stare bothersome. They can go back to 1959 for all I care.
To end on a good note (which is always a goal of mine), my RBF landed me a small role in a Community Theater Play! I will be playing Officer Pudney in BrickStreet Theater’s production of Rumors by Neil Simon! So there you have it folks, I’m badass looking. This is me getting my feet wet in acting for the stage again after a 10 year sabbatical. I’m so excited but more on that for another timeā€¦